A quick note from the author….

One of the main questions I get about this blog is “why don’t you post pictures of your own outfits?”

I got this question so much, I figured it was time to address it to the broad reading audience. I have several answers:

1. I do sometimes share pictures of my own items or ensembles

2. There are a million other blogs out there dedicated exclusively to what the author wears, and they all do an excellent job. I really don’t need to add my own outfits to the internet frenzy.

3. My blog isn’t about my style or the contents of my closet(s). It’s about style and beauty in general, and my take on those topics.

4. I really love looking at those outfit-a-day blogs, but it can be hard to learn much about style from them, other than learning that the author is much better at vintage/thrift-store shopping than I am. Seriously! All those ladies out there have some terribly enviable vintage finds, but it doesn’t always help much when you looking to learn about putting yourself together in a way that works. After all, I’ll never be able to score a vintage coat that is fitted the same way as one I’d find on a blog.

My blog is really geared for those who are new to developing their personal style, or still finding their style “voice”. I prefer to write about concepts, principles, and broader topics than just what I’ve got collecting dust bunnies in my closet, so that my readership can learn how to find their own style statement without coming out looking exactly like me.

Because so many of you have asked, I’ll try to post a little bit more of my own stuff, but it will never be the focus.

I do hope you continue to read my posts, because I terribly enjoy writing them! So much fun.

If you’ve got a question, comment, or topic you’d like covered here, email me at thestylistspeaks@gmail.com.

I always respond!

The Value of a Good Haircut

Oh, how I wish we could interview hair stylists the way we do interior decorators or landscapers: you meet, you talk about what you want, they draw up a bunch of plans with pictures and colors, and then you decide if their skills and ideas will work for you. You say, let’s give it a go, or no thanks.

The Hair Salon

Instead, we walk into a salon already committed, often feel intimidated by the glamorous people there, by our cooler-than-thou stylist, and/or by the wall of products with names that sound like things you thought only existed in the rain forest (mists, extracts, mud compounds). We muster our courage to describe our vision for our hair, only to have it shot down by the know-it-all wielding the scissors and walk out feeling like a sheared sheep and definitely less than fabulous.

Sound familiar?

Well, my mother gave me very wise advice when she said invest in your hair, you have to wear it every day.

Oh, how true it is. Good hair is absolutely necessary to a completed good look. You can be wearing the most gorgeous ensemble, but if you’ve got frizz all over your head that’s the texture of straw, it ruins everything.

My tips for getting a good hair cut are….

1. Ask your friends with great hair who they see. If I’m your personal stylist, ask me and I’ll give you good recommendations.

2. Go to a good salon if you can afford it. If you can’t, go to the training school for a good salon. Ladies, no Great Clips! Seriously!

3. Read reviews online before ever booking your appointment

4. The first time seeing a new hair stylist, know exactly what you want. If at all possible, take a picture. If your hair stylist does a great job, the next time you see him or her, ask them for their advice and ideas and be willing to let them take control a little more. They do this for a living, after all.

5. Be realistic about how much time you’ll actually spend on your hair daily. I love loose curls, but I know there is no way I’ll ever take the time to do them myself. I will straighten my hair every day, so I always ask for a style that will look good straightened. Be firm about this! Do expect to spend some time on your hair, though.

6. Ask your hair stylist for tricks on how to style your new cut yourself. Often times they have some good ideas for you.

7. Use products. Sorry to break it to you, no one rolls out of bed with perfect, shiny, healthy hair. It takes work, it takes maintenance, and really, truly, it takes some products.

8. Remember, hair always grows back. If you hate your cut (I’ve had tons of bad ones) wait two months and it will be all back. Don’t let your hair be your security blanket! You’ll do fine with shorter hair or just a different look, it might just take some getting used to.

I just got my hair cut this morning by a new stylist who took my ideas, gave them her own little twist (with my permission) and sent me away feeling like a million dollars. Best 2 1/2 hours of the whole week! As it was, the cut didn’t cost me much, but I would have paid much more for it. Hair makes a huge difference in your look and is worth every bit of effort you can put into it.

My look is now complete.

 

Shoe Love

I have a confession….kind of a big one. I’m not all that into shoes. I know, I know, I hear your collective gasp. I can even read your thoughts: “but isn’t any woman worth her estrogen a shoe-aholic?!” I like shoes, I wear shoes, but I don’t just die over the latest patterned pumps, or espadrille wedges, or what have you. I know this goes against conventional wisdom, but I don’t believe that it’s always the shoes make the outfit, or the handbag that makes the outfit.

Good style doesn’t follow a formula.

The longer I style, the more apparent it has become that it’s all about the one item that makes an outfit feel special, but that one item might be the top, the jacket, the belt, the necklace, the tights, the headband, the skirt, the scarf, etc. It might be the shoes or the handbag after all, but not necessarily. Don’t neglect the rest.

All that to say, it takes some special footwear to captivate me. And these babies have done just that…

Marni gorgeousness in double-platform sandal form

Swoon. These Marni shoes are beautiful. I first became enthralled with them last spring, and the love has just grown from there. Back then, I thought, how perfect for transitional weather! The platform lifts you out of lingering puddles, and the open toe design hints of warmer weather to come. Well, it’s fall now and winter is steadily approaching, but I still find these shoes to be a perfect additional to many outfits. They look great with opaque tights, and the dark, somber colors keep it feeling seasonally appropriate. How lovely is the gray and chocolate brown together? Oh! I just love them.

So, readers, I may not have shoe boxes spilling out of my closet, I may not go buy new heels when I have a bad day, but I do still swoon over some serious design perfection, no matter what form it takes.

Way to go, Marni!

Exfoliate Your Face

First off, I’m proud to say this at-home beauty trick is much more successful than my last. Thank goodness for that!

I find my skin drying out in the cooler air more and more as I get older. It’s not the same dryness you get in the summertime, more like just dull skin that looks tired and feels a bit lifeless.

Do you experience this, too?

Well, there is a super easy at-home fix for that! And I feel quite certain you have the key ingredient in your kitchen already:

Yes, just plain old sugar

Ready to fix your face? Here’s all you do:

1. soak a clean washcloth in pretty warm water (not hot). Wring it out and drape in on your face. Leave it there to steam your skin and open your pores. Once it cools off, rinse it out, heat it up again, and repeat this two or so more times.

2. Get whatever facial cleanser you usually use (cream cleansers like Cetaphil, or the one from Mary Kay work best) and squirt a quarter-sized amount onto your palms. Mix in enough sugar to form a soft paste.

3. scrub your face with this cleanser-sugar mix for a couple minutes. Pay special attention to your cheeks and forehead.

4. Rinse your face thoroughly with warm water

5. Moisturize with your usually moisturizer and add just a drop or two of olive oil.

If this is your first time exfoliating in a while, do this every day for a week. You’ll notice a huge difference in your skin. After that, just repeat as necessary which is usually twice a week or so.

I swear by this trick, and I know if you try it, you’ll swear by it too!

A Favorite Silhouette- The Paper Bag Waist

paper bag waist via 80spurple.com (on sale!)

I love the paper bag waist.  Now, I can’t explain where the name comes from as I never pleat and belt my paper bags (don’t know about you), but it is so darling nonetheless.

I first fell in love with this shape several years ago when a gorgeous pair of yellow paper-bag-waisted pants paraded down the runway.  Despite endless searching, I cannot find the image of those pants, but I’m pretty sure it was Louis Vuitton and I’m terribly certain it was love at first sight for me.

At any rate, this silhouette is a favorite of mine. It is sweet and feminine but still feels fresh and different. Yet I find so many women shy away from it because they don’t want to draw attention to their waistlines.

Well, stop it.

While the lovely shorts pictured above are a great example of this style, they may be too extreme for someone just dabbling with this shape.

Instead try a great skirt:

the perfect skirt from Armani Exchange

The reason this skirt works well is because the slim fit through the hips and leg balance out the volume of the waistline. The dark color is also slimming, so you have absolutely no need to fear looking larger than life. I’d wear it with a slouchy tee tucked in the top  and bloused, so the belt of the skirt really cinches in your waistline. Add some colorful jewelry and you’re done.

It might feel unnatural for you to wear this shape, but all it takes is a little practice and some bravery, and it just might become one of your favorite silhouettes, too!

What is Work Wear Today?

On Thursday afternoon I was asked to attend a business lunch taking place on Friday afternoon. Eek! After determining that yes, there would be tiramisu for dessert (I have my priorities) I instantly panicked about what to wear.

 

My usual uniform is too casual for an event like this, and I couldn’t remember what business-appropriate outfit I’d worn when I’d last seen these people. So, off to the stores I went.

During my shopping excursion, I was reminded first hand of how hard it is to find fashionable, work-appropriate wear these days. I tried on some great day dresses, but they were all too short to be OK for this sort of meeting.

great Milly dress, but too short for my event

I next went for slim-legged work pants, but none existed (ugh!)

great classic pants, but not trendy

Finally, I found an absolutely gorgeous high-waisted, knee-length black pencil skirt, which I needed to fill a huge, gaping, pencil-skirt-shaped hole in my wardrobe anyway.

back-pleated pencil skirt via forever21.com

All this shopping and the many failures made me sympathetic to those women who must dress professionally every day, and struggle to find trendy options.

I learned from my own experience that it’s best to pick one anchor item, and let it make your statement. For example, while I would have liked to wear my perfectly modern pencil skirt with ankle boots and a big bow headband, instead I paired it with sleek pumps and a mod jacket. I still looked, and more importantly felt, on trend; but in order to blend in with my conservative peers, I kept the silhouette simple.

And the bonus was, the tiramisu was amazing

Finding Inspiration

Where do you find inspiration for your own personal style? Most of us (even stylists) don’t draw from an endless well of creativity and therefore must look outside of our own ideas to gain some fresh inspiration.

How do you do that, you ask? The resources are endless.

1. Start with clothes you already own. What are your favorite pieces? Not the ones you wear the most, but the clothes you’re still so excited about. For me, I have a yellow ruffled top with a grey satin ribbon belt that I adore. I’ve probably only worn it three times, but just looking at it makes me so happy! What items do you have that are like that? Once you’ve determined what they are, write down why they’re your favorites. For me and my yellow top, it’s the romantic ruffles paired with the gloomy grey. I love that combination. So, that’s a good place for me to begin: romantic items with a little edge.

Maybe I’d get a dark grey tank with a sweet half-bow detail:

half-bow tank via nordstrom.com

and pair it with some fingerless leather gloves and my knit motorcycle jacket to toughen it up.

2. Imitation is the best form of flattery. Whose style to you admire? It should go without saying that buying their exact same sweater, jacket, boots, etc. isn’t flattering in any way and shouldn’t be done. However, you can draw some ideas from them. Personally, I pay attention to people who are extra-proficient at mixing prints and try to figure out the fundamentals of what they do so I can replicate their ideas (not their exact look!) within my own wardrobe.

some successfully mixed prints

3. Watch a movie or some good TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah everyone’s inspired by Audrey Hepburn, Jackie O., Marilyn Monroe, and all the other icons. But there are countless other stylish characters that go unnoticed and under-appreciated. When I think back on movies I like, most of them I love for the clothes. Do you pay attention to character wardrobes? They can provide a wealth of ideas for you! I love Penelope Cruz’s wardrobe from her role in Vicky Christina Barcelona. The epitome of gypsy summer chic (but no cigarette for me, thanks)

The inimitable Ms. Cruz in character

Satin and suede fringe? I wouldn’t have paired those on my own.

4. Just pick a trend. When nothing is right, nothing is good enough, nothing has the “wow” factor: just pick a trend. I did this. I picked animal print. It’s everywhere, it’s a trend that goes on forever, and I don’t have much of it. All of a sudden I started noticing zebra-patterned beading, and embossed-leopard flats (or even better, the yellow flats below!). I started putting it together with stuff I already owned: “I could wear these flats with tights and that striped mini-skirt. I could wear that tank under a blazer with the sleeves rolled up and some bold ankle boots. I could wear….” and on and on.

Jimmy Choo flats via saksfifthavenue.com

Sometimes all you need is a push. It might not even feel like the right direction at first, but you have to force it a little. You’ll end up with a whole new look you would have never tried before!

When you want something new, and can’t find anything to buy….

Ever have that problem? I did last weekend. I had some spending cash, and was excited to spruce up my wardrobe with some cozy stuff for the chilly weather. I traipsed through store after store and didn’t buy one single thing. How depressing! Nothing seemed exciting enough to warrant the purchase. There were plenty of blah-blah options, but who needs those?

Luckily, there are some easy solutions to this common, discouraging problem:

1. Buy accessories. Rachel Zoe herself (swoon-idol to stylists everywhere)  recommends this, and she’s right in doing so. Purchasing some fun accessories can make what you already have feel so much more exciting. So, what to buy?  How about some fun, mixed-element earrings…

crystal cluster earring via forever21.com

Or a sweet, feminine scarf…

rosette scarf via bananarepublic.com

a pile of bangles is a good option….

mixed bangles via forever21.com

you could also consider investing in a beautiful pin (not just for your granny anymore)…

begonia pin via alexisbittar.com

2. Go old school. Another option when you just can’t find anything good at the conventional stores is to shop vintage.

Buffalo Exchange- a great beginner vintage option

Truthfully, I don’t shop vintage shops or thrift stores often, because I get kind of grossed out by them. However, I have found some really brilliant pieces at various second-hand shops before, so it’s still worth looking. The nice thing about buying vintage is, obviously, no one else will have the same item as you. Much more special! I usually have better luck buying vintage coats or skirts versus tops or pants. It still never hurts to check out the whole store.

3. Re-invest in some quality basics. Buy a great new white button-up shirt, or a gorgeous pair of black pumps.

black pumps via zappos.com

It will really take your other clothes to the next level. Remember: basic doesn’t have to mean boring. It’s all about the quality, the details, and the fit. Those three selling points can make even the dullest of items feel luxurious, and in turn, multiply the outfits you have in your repertoire by serving as the anchor for some of your statement pieces.

4. Find new inspiration. This is what I did when I hit my shopper’s block last week, and I’ll share how I got re-inspired next post!

Mini DIY Projects

Well, hello old blog. Haven’t seen you in weeks! Truthfully, dear readers, I’ve been so busy.

First, I had to spend some serious time contemplating if the jade nail trend is for me.

Jade nails at Chanel, where the frenzy started

I decided it is, but as the true jade polish (seen below) isn’t available, I’ve been searching for a suitable substitute.

The real jade polish-so pretty!

Next, and far more time consuming, I ran into a conundrum finding a good skinny jean. The thing is, I have loads of nice skinnies, but I needed some I could wear daily, to go for walks, than can get rained on and muddy, or worn to a rock show and get just gross without having a heart attack over ruined spendy denims. Usually you can get some at Marshalls, TJ Maxx, or the like for around $10-$15 but they just weren’t there.

Then I stumbled upon this little tutorial…..and this successful adult-jeans version. Perfect! The only problem…..I don’t own  a sewing machine. Can you believe it?! All my DIY fashion fixes are done….very slowly. By hand. With lots of errors and mis-matched thread (Just keepin’ it real).

My by-hand, circa 1800s solution would simply not work for this project as I really can’t see myself hand-stitching denim, only to rip out the seams when they aren’t perfect and start all over, followed by zigzag stitching the edges….UGH! No way.  Thankfull,y a very generous woman loaned me her Janome 3022 machine for a few days and I went crafty-bananas.

I’m thrilled to say that not only was the DIY skinny jean experiment a great success, it was super simple. And quick! I whipped through four pairs of old boot-cut jeans that were lying around and going un-worn. I’ll post the pictures once I figure out how to get them off our fancy SLR that I am very intimidated by.

After finishing that project I went on to fix other items in my closet; un-done hems, hacking inches off of skirts and dresses, turning turtlenecks into scoop-necks (twice). Did you know you can pretty much use a zigzag stitch on knits instead of needed a serger?! For my very simple purposes, it worked great!

I don’t know how I’ve lived so long without a sewing machine. I almost cried when I returned it. Since then, I’ve been hunting for the very model I borrowed as it was so easy to use. So, sorry to have been neglectful, but you can expect lots more fun, easy, DIY posts in the future!

Happy crafting to all!

Home Hair Repair that Isn’t.

I stepped outside this morning into some very cold air. So cold, I had to turn right around and go back inside for a coat, lamenting the loss of summer (still!) the whole way. It’s not just my attitude that suffers in the newly crisp air, my hair does also. Following a season of swimming pools and sunshine, dry air and central heating aren’t doing my locks any favors. As readers of my blog know, I’ve been desperately trying to grow my hair out for nearly two years and it’s finally at a length I like, so chopping a couple inches off the ends just to fix some minor damage seems a bit heart-wrenching.

So, once again I turned to at-home remedies. I thought to myself, how hard can it be to make a great, deep-conditioning mask for my hair out of stuff in my well-stocked cupboards? After all I had great success with home pedicures. So I searched for some make-it-yourself hair care recipes. The results kinda scared me, to be honest! They called for some crazy ingredients. Here are just a few:

1. mayonnaise: The texture seems like what I would want in a hair mask, but I don’t want my head to smell like chicken salad sandwiches. I eyed the bottle of coleslaw dressing hanging out in my fridge (I figured it was a close enough substitution) but there was no way I was going to spread it on my hair, no matter what you mixed it with!

raw eggs

2. Raw eggs: a huge number of recipes called for raw eggs. Maybe it really works, but that sounds like torture to me. Cold, slimy eggs on my head?! no thank you.

3. A pliable block of tamarind. Ummm…seriously?

Ylang Ylang

4. Ylang ylang. Not surprisingly, I don’t have a stash of ylang ylang just hanging around

5. Apple cider vinegar. I know that this is supposed to balance the pH of your hair, but this just scares me a little bit. I have colored hair, so I’m not sure this would be the safest thing.

6. All manners of oil. I’m Italian, so in my mind, olive oil cures everything. I rub it on my lips before bed to keep them soft, I used in it my at-home pedicure, and my mom even rubs it into her face. But rinsing 3/4 cup of oil out of my hair sounds terrible. Not to mention, oil treatments are not safe for colored hair.

I finally got brave enough to try using milk and a mashed banana, two common and not-too-disgusting ingredients.

“I’m going to put a mashed banana on my head!” I announce to my husband when I march into the kitchen determined to fix my hair

He just looks at me strangely for a minute while I begin preparations. “Is this for your clients and the blog?” he asks. I confirm. “Carry on.” he tells me and wisely leaves the room.

I’m going to be really honest with you. It felt and looked like I had puke in my hair. So gross! But I left it for the recommended 15 minutes. And it made no difference. At all. Nothing. Total failure!

So, I went to option two.

$1.50 glitter hair bows from Forever 21

These darling little clips didn’t make my hair softer, stronger, or smoother. But they did make it look better. And anything with a bow, ruffle, or sequin makes me supremely happy.  So, I call it a hair repair success. If you’re brave enough to spread tamarind in your hair, go for it. For me, I think I’ll buy these sweet little bows in every single color and call it good!